


and if we can just move past this heartache

by tuesdead



Category: Naruto
Genre: Angst, Because of Reasons, Fluff, Gen, Hanahaki Disease, M/M, Post-War, Unrequited Love, War Arc, apparently Tobirama never got married or had children, coughing/choking, debate on whether or not Hashirama loved his wife, naruto is a miracle and everybody knows it, naruto is protective by nature, the hanahaki is a senju curse, very mild descriptions of illness, which is pretty cool, yamanaru
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-03-08
Updated: 2021-03-08
Packaged: 2021-03-15 01:01:03
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,903
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29925528
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/tuesdead/pseuds/tuesdead
Summary: Yamato starts coughing on Turtle Island. He hadn't wanted to believe the curse was real, but here he is. He has fallen in love and there are flower petals in his lungs to prove it.This is why Aoba insists that Yamato doesn't go outside when they're attacked--he's here to protect Naruto, but somehow, it's Naruto that ends up protecting him.
Relationships: Hatake Kakashi & Uzumaki Naruto, Hatake Kakashi & Yamato | Tenzou, Uzumaki Naruto/Yamato | Tenzou
Comments: 4
Kudos: 15





	and if we can just move past this heartache

**Author's Note:**

> I've been thinking about Yamanaru for a while now. This is my first attempt at writing something from Yamato's point of view. I don't have a solid voice for him in my head yet, but you'll probably see more of him from me in the future. Any and all suggestions are helpful!
> 
> All mistakes are mine.

Yamato glares balefully at the bundle of flower petals in his hand. The bundle of flower petals in his hand that he coughed out of his lungs. The bundle of flower petals in his hand that he coughed out of his lungs because he has _apparently_ …

He has apparently fallen in love.

_So… Hashirama’s curse is real._

Aoba crouches beside him, face grim, and watches as he lets the petals fall to the ground. “This isn’t good. Yamato, you should stay inside this time.”

“We’re here to protect--”

“What good are you to Naruto if you’re struggling to breathe?” Aoba shakes his head. “Stay inside. We’ll see what’s going on outside.”

He tries to protest again, but his lungs protest, forcing more flower petals into his windpipe, sending him into another coughing fit. How has this happened? Yamato isn’t even really related to Hashirama, how is it fair that he’s been stuck with the Shodaime’s curse?

“Huh?” Warmth at his side, a hand on his shoulder. “Yamato-taicho, don’t tell me you’re getting sick…” Naruto hums. “Hey, that looks familiar… Where’ve I seen those flowers before…?”

Airways clear at last, Yamato sits back on his haunches, watching his teammate lift one of the flower petals off of the small pile he’d coughed up. “They’re gardenia petals,” he murmurs, voice hoarse. “They grow all over Fire Country.”

Naruto is quiet for a moment, his eyes going between the petal in his hand and the petals on the ground. “You have a secret love?” Yamato can’t read his expression.

With a sigh, because he knows Naruto won’t leave him alone if he doesn’t tell him _something_ , Yamato sits back and crosses his legs. “In the Hokage’s private collection, there’s a scroll describing a curse that Senju Hashirama carried. From what I understand, the curse took hold of him the moment he fell in love, and he was only cured when he learned that the subject of his love shared his feelings.”

The blond that he’s been sent to this island to protect (and distract) settles at his side, pensive. “And… now you have this curse, too?” Yamato still doesn't understand the look on his face and it's making him feel uneasy.

Well. Uneasier.

"I suppose I do."

Naruto's response isn't what Yamato expects. "Ne, Taicho. Your love must be really strong to set off a curse like that. I mean, it makes sense because you have Shodaime-sama's DNA, but it's still not technically hereditary for you." He turns to look at Yamato next, eyes squeezing shut while he smiles. "I hope you're able to find happiness with that person."

_I doubt it._

Yamato doesn't say so, though. He just gives Naruto his own smile before pushing himself to his feet. "Of course, instead of worrying about something so trivial, we should be getting you trained."

But Naruto's smile drops right away. "Your life isn't trivial, Yamato-taicho. The hanahaki curse can be fatal, you know."

_He knows about it?_

Before Yamato can ask, though, Naruto heads back toward the training room, leaving him to his thoughts. Yamato begins to worry.

-

Things on the island aren't going the way Yamato expected. Sure, he expected Naruto would eventually become suspicious, but he never thought that it would be because somebody _broke inside_ in order to attempt to _kidnap him_ . Kidnap _Yamato_. 

" _What do you want from Yamato-taicho?_ " Naruto's growling voice echoes across the hall of statues, the Kyuubi Cloak flowing brightly, lighting the space around them.

Naruto has always reminded him of the sun. You know, when he's not being _dense as hell_.

Kabuto (that is, the thing that used to be Kabuto) lets out a sinister chuckle, grinning at the jinchuriki who has him disabled and pinned. "Well, it would have been nice to augment Madara's army with the living cells of Hashirama from your captain's DNA."

The blond growls, hand clenching around Kabuto's throat. "You're not going to touch him as long as I'm here."

He doesn't know why (he knows why), but those words set off a coughing spell in Yamato's lungs. It forces him to his hands and knees, _why is it progressing so quickly, I can't breathe._

It feels like it’s been forever by the time he finishes hacking up the flower petals in his lungs, a steady stream of red carnation flowers this time. Killer Bee crouches at his side, but there's nothing he can do to halt the river of red.

When his airways have cleared, Yamato finally leans back, trying to focus his gaze. Naruto is crouching at his side, too.

"Kabuto?" he manages to ask, though his throat is rough and torn from the flowers. Naruto waves him off.

"Dead," he explains, voice gravelly and low. His eyes are tense. "So. There's a war going on? And you're here to make sure I don't leave?"

Yamato knows what his orders are, but…

"How is your control, Naruto?"

Bee answers for him, insisting that Naruto still has some work to do before he can face an army. Naruto’s expression darkens, as though he knows it’s true.

Yamato nods. "Naruto… I think that if you want to leave this island now, I cannot physically stop you. But somebody else will try. However, if you finish your training with Killer Bee, they're going to need you out on that battlefield eventually."

It might not be enough to stop Naruto from marching out of their island, because he doesn’t like it when other people fight his battles for him, but… Naruto _isn't_ stupid.

He rises, helping Yamato to his feet. "Okay. But Taicho," his gaze is penetrating, imploring, "it would be unwise to go out onto the battlefield in your condition."

_I can't just let him go alone… It isn't that I distrust Bee, but Naruto is…_

_Naruto is too important to me._

He doesn't tell Naruto that, though. "My mission is to guard you, Naruto-kun."

“Yamato-”

“Naruto,” he interrupts, before Naruto can scold him for being restless. “We’re on the same team. I want to protect you for as long as I can. Do you understand?”

The blond studies him for a long moment before turning away. “I have work to do.”

-

Something is still bothering Yamato, though. Why is it that Naruto seems to know more about Hashirama’s curse than he originally let on? Why, when Yamato explained the curse, didn’t Naruto mention that he knew it was fatal?

_Certainly he hasn’t had the curse._

Yamato hasn’t seen him since Kabuto’s death, because he’s been locked away in the training room, cut off from the outside world. His attitude about Yamato’s safety isn’t so surprising, but the burning look in his gaze…

And even if Yamato wanted to confess, which he doesn’t, there’s a _war_ going on. A war between all of the world’s shinobi and _Uchiha Madara himself_. Now isn’t the time to be loose with anything that somebody can use against you. Besides, without the guarantee of returned feelings, Yamato can’t afford to be that honest, not when he has people that he wants to protect for as long as he can.

Not that surgery is a possibility, either. Every capable medic is out on the battlefield. There’s no time for surgeries that aren’t absolutely necessary, and Yamato is _fine_. He has only had two episodes (even if they were within days of each other), and he’s still able to breathe fairly well. He doesn’t think he’s at risk just yet. If they can just get through this war, things might calm down enough for a med-nin to look at his lungs. And if not…

Yamato would rather suffer than put somebody on the spot like that.

He would rather suffer than put _Naruto_ on the spot like that. Why would a teenager with the world in his hands share _Yamato_ ’s feelings, anyway? He wouldn’t. Yamato can’t expect that from him.

Knowing Naruto, the jinchuriki might even try to force himself to feel the same way, and that… well, that won’t be good for anybody.

It’s better if he doesn’t put that kind of pressure on the blond.

-

Yamato goes with them when they break out, despite being faced with both Tsunade-sama and the Raikage’s anger. Tsunade insists that he should join Kakashi on the battlefield when she finally agrees that Naruto should join the fight, but it’s Naruto himself that looks her in the eye and says, “I’d rather he stay with me, baa-chan.”

Their Hokage glares at Naruto, but he stands his ground until she concedes. From there, events fall upon them one after another, with barely any breaks. And as much as Yamato wishes they weren’t in the middle of a war, he has to admit that watching Naruto on the battlefield is glorious.

(Mostly, he’s just glad that Naruto hasn’t left Yamato with a clone and run off on his own.)

Unfortunately, things get much, much worse before they begin to get better. That is, for the shinobi world. For Yamato, things simply just keep getting worse. And there’s no easy way to make it better. Naruto’s uncanny ability to save people isn’t going to work on Yamato, not this time. He can’t just say a few words and remove the roots from Yamato’s lungs.

Somehow, when they’re finally, _finally_ home, Yamato and Naruto find themselves sharing a hospital room. Yamato for injuries gained during the war, but also for the sickness that has progressed almost beyond the point of surgery; Naruto for the injuries he gained in his fight with Sasuke following the war. Yamato doesn’t really understand--wouldn’t they put Sasuke and Naruto into the same room? Or are they separated because of Sasuke’s pending status as a member of their village?

“He actually requested to be placed in the same room as you,” Kakashi explains when Yamato asks. In the next bed, Naruto snores softly. “He’s… very protective over you. I’m kind of surprised, actually, Tenzo.”

“So am I.”

Kakashi squints at him. “I don’t think we’re surprised for the same reason. Let me tell you a story…” He leans back in his seat, crossing his knees. “Not long before Jiraiya’s death, Naruto came to me about his illness. I was only privy to the Senju curse because Minato-sensei and Kushina-san though I should know, just in case Naruto ever got sick. He carries enough of their genes to be vulnerable, you see. I didn’t see it coming; I thought for sure that if he ever carried the torch for anybody, it would be one of his teammates. He always used to insist that he had a crush on Sakura, but his relationship with Sasuke was always so skewed… It was hard to tell.”

“But he was sick?” Yamato’s own voice is hoarse--it has been for nearly two weeks. The coughing spells are so frequent now that his throat doesn’t have time to heal.

“He was sick. And Naruto… well, he insisted that confessing wouldn’t do him any favors, so we went to see Tsunade-sama, and Naruto had the flowers removed. Of course, having the surgery means giving up on ever falling in love again.” He raises an eyebrow in Naruto’s direction. “At least, that’s how the story goes. It’s why Nidaime-sama never married. He documented every detail of his illness, aside from the subject of his affection. Shodaime-sama married Mito-sama, but nobody knows whether she was the subject of his love or not. Personally, I think he had the surgery as well.”

Kakashi hides his nose in a book while Yamato thinks that over. He feels like he shouldn’t be so shocked that Naruto fell under the Senju curse, but he _is_. And what’s with the implication that he hadn’t fallen in love with either of his teammates?

“Did he tell you who he had fallen in love with?” he manages to ask, even though he mostly doesn’t want to know. He’s not doing himself any favors by dwelling on it. He _needs_ to have the surgery if he wants to survive. There’s certainly no point in pining any longer, not when Naruto can’t _fall_ in love. “And why are _you_ , in particular, surprised that Naruto has become protective over me? I think it’s fair that he’s worried about the illness, he’s known about it since before Kabuto came to Kumo’s island, but I just didn’t realize he cared that much about my health.”

Kakashi hums. “I’m surprised, Tenzo, because the person Naruto fell in love with was you. By all accounts, he shouldn’t be able to feel anything but platonic affection for you. And yet… I don’t see him demanding to share a hospital room with any of his other friends or teammates.”

Yamato stops listening after that, so he doesn’t know whether or not Kakashi keeps talking. He doesn’t have a choice but to ignore his senpai, though, because another episode seizes his lungs, more violent and thorough than before. There’s really no way he can breathe, let alone form coherent thoughts.

The only thing going through his mind is the desolate look in Naruto’s face when reminded Yamato that his life was in the balance with this curse.

It feels like the river of flower petals is never ending, cascading onto his lap like a waterfall. Yamato tries to clear his thoughts, tries to focus on facts instead of Naruto, but it’s hard to do when he already feels so close to death.

But they do eventually stop, giving him time to catch his breath. Kakashi stares wide-eyed at the amount, speechless. Only a soft voice pulls them both away from the sight.

“They’re cyclamen flowers,” Naruto remarks, rubbing the sleep out of his eyes. He looks like hell, but Yamato doesn’t mind. “It means you’re saying goodbye.”

His senpai turns back to Yamato, brow furrowed. “Tenzo--”

“I have to have the surgery,” he admits, brushing the pad of his finger over one of the petals in his lap. “There’s no other way.”

“You won’t confess?” Kakashi murmurs. Naruto sits up, confused but also aware that Yamato hadn’t planned on confessing.

“Even if I thought I could,” Yamato responds, “you just told me I couldn’t, senpai.”

A moment passes before Kakashi lurches to his feet, bowing his head. “Forgive me, Tenzo. I shouldn’t have said anything.” He’s gone before Yamato can even formulate a reply.

On the other bed, Naruto pouts. “What’s that all about?”

Yamato hums. He doesn’t like it, but Naruto deserves to know, which means Yamato now has to tell him. And if Naruto asks… Yamato will have to confess anyway. “He told me about your own experience with the Senju curse.”

“Ah.” The blond attempts to smile. “What brought it up?”

“Well, I asked how we ended up in the same room, and Kakashi-senpai explained that you insisted.” Naruto nods to corroborate the claim. “He went on to say that it surprised him, but when I agreed he pointed out that we probably weren’t surprised for the same reason, and he told me that you had suffered from Shodaime-sama’s curse, too. I was still a little confused at his initial reaction, so… Kakashi explained that the person you had fallen in love with before the surgery was me.” Naruto nods again, lips pursed in thought.

“So what set off your coughing episode?”

Yamato turns his gaze back to the flowers covering his bed, wishing he could just roll over and go to sleep. “The person that you had fallen in love with before the surgery was me,” he repeats.

He doesn’t hear Naruto move, so it comes as a shock when the teenager appears beside him. “Give me your hand.”

Something compels him to follow through with the request without asking any questions; it still comes as a shock when Naruto places Yamato’s hand in the dead center of his chest. “Close your eyes and tell me what you feel.”

Again, he does what Naruto demands (is it really a demand when it’s spoken so gently like that?) without a second thought, letting his eyes slip shut and his chakra to gather in the palm of his hand--barely a moment passes before he feels what Naruto has him looking for.

“ _Flowers_.”

Naruto hums. “I had the surgery, and it worked. The flowers were gone, I stopped dying, and I wasn’t in love anymore…” Yamato opens his eyes to find that Naruto is already looking at him. “But then I fell in love all over again.” It’s supposed to be impossible. “The sickness came back near the end of the war. You would think… you would think it’s a curse, but… It kind of feels like a miracle.”

Yamato’s hand curls into a fist without his permission, grasping the fabric of Naruto’s shirt. He feels like he should say _something_ , anything, but he doesn’t know what. Naruto is suffering from Hashirama’s curse _again_? This teenager who is a miracle in every way has beaten all the odds stacked against him, and-

“I love you,” Naruto adds, because it’s all about the phrasing. Yamato feels his lungs expand, feels the curse retreat, feels _free_.

The blond allows himself to be pulled into Yamato’s arms, allows Yamato’s grip even though it might be painful. And when Yamato tells him that he loves him, Naruto smiles against his throat, lips pressed against Yamato’s skin.

“We’re going to be just fine,” he murmurs, and Yamato believes him.


End file.
